Tattoo

9:32 AM P: hm. I showed my husband my tattoo artwork and he didn’t like it.

  now I’m trying to work with the tattoo artist on how to fix it so that he will like it.

 Q: because it was a tattoo or because it was that crazy indian shit

 P: he thought it looked like a cartoon.

  like Dumbo.

9:33 AM Q: disagree. but that’s a little bit funny.

 P: and he wants it to be something that is more flowery and sexy I guess.

  so I’m adding flowers.

  what kind of flowers?

 Q: oh, ok. and could you add vines or something like that with sanskrit?

9:34 AM P: perhaps so

 Q:

 P: sanskrit that says, “my husband is an idiot and doesn’t know the difference between Ganesha and Dumbo”

 Q: well that is why it is funny.

9:35 AM because it IS an elephant.

 P: yes. true.

9:36 AM okay… back to flowers.

  the tattoo artist said “I’m not sure about the vines wrapping part, maybe flowers though.”

Q: ok, hmmm.

                       the obvious is the lotus flower

   

P: yes, the lotus is too common i fear.

9:37 AM Q: right. but it will make a better tattoo cause it won’t bleed and look bad later

 P: the vines? or the flowers?

9:38 AM ah.

  true.

9:39 AM this is going to get $$$$

 Q: really? because of the time he’s spending designing?

9:40 AM P: i think so…

  do i pay for that part?

  i don’t even have a clue.

  you should know

 Q: i don’t know. of course you’re asking the wrong person

 P: oh really? i thought you were the tattoo queen?

9:41 AM Q: only from the waist down

                    P:  I especially like your tramp stamp that says, “as long as you are back there, please pull my hair”

FREE SH*T!!

4:03 PM P: moving sucks.

  i’m over it.

4:04 PM maybe I’ll just have a free sale.

  come to my house. take what you want! FREE!!!

 Q: yeah, i always say it brings out the worst in everyone

  that and funerals

 P: also equally uplifting.

 Q: I will wear a FREE SHIT!!! sandwich board and stand out on your street if you want

 P: Oh nice.

  that suits you.

On Productivity

3:28 PM P: guess what?

3:29 PM oh are you doing that thing where it looks like you’re there but you’re really not?

mean. that’s just plain mean.

3:30 PM that’s a peccadillo. That’s what that is.

sigh.


22 minutes

3:53 PM Q: sorry, dilettante

3:55 PM P: hahaha

3:56 PM so anyways, back to me…

guess what?

Q: right.

what?

(did I do that right?)

P: i’m spending my first night in my new house tonight!

yes, job well done.

Q: hooray!!

P: yes. hooray indeed.

3:57 PM Q: are you SO excited?

P: medium.

I can’t watch the spelling bee championships!!!

Q: Maybe spelling bee will be on the internet for you to watch?

at work, I mean.

P: no internet connection.

oh right at work.

real productive, Q.


Introductions

4:01 PM P: I think I may have a tendency to be somewhat sequacious.

i love gmail’s word of the days.

Q: and I locquacious

P: words of the day

4:02 PM Q: sp?

P: loquacious

Q: thank you.

4:03 PM P: too bad i’m overage for that spelling bee, right?

over-age

Q: true ‘dat

P: over-aged

old

Q: dried-up, past your prime, shriveled

old

P: right. thanks.

4:04 PM Q: just wanted to clarify

aged, ancient, broken down*, debilitated, decrepit, deficient, doddering, elderly, enfeebled, exhausted, experienced, fossil*, geriatric, getting on*, gray, gray-haired*, grizzled*, hoary*, impaired, inactive, infirm, mature, matured, not young, olden, oldish, patriarchal, seasoned, senile, senior, skilled, superannuated, tired, venerable, versed, veteran, wasted*

4:05 PM P: i prefer used-up.

as in rode hard and put away wet.

Q: nice.

so old that you’re useless as tits on a bull?

4:06 PM P: ew. i don’t really like where this is headed.

:)

Q: I prefer olde with an “e”. It elevates it. Like blonde.

P: hahaha

4:07 PM Q: like “shut-up you olde bag”

4:08 PM P: right. and in pronunciation, the d is enunciated.

4:09 PM so that the bag in question knows that she is receiving the respect she deserves and not being called “old”

but is instead being complemented while being insulted.

“olde”

not to be confused with “ol’”

or ole

or ole’

Q: right.

4:10 PM How about I try that with my clients and you try that with your co-workers? and we’ll report back and compare notes when we meet in the unemployment line

P: perfect. that’s my favorite place.

4:11 PM oh wait. i thought you meant the bar. could we meet there instead?

4:12 PM Q: sure. that is where I open my checks

i keep thinking,P, that there has to be an outlet for our combined cheekiness. a collaboration, so to speak.

4:17 PM P: hm. but I have to work so hard to keep up with you.

4:19 PM so what are you thinking though?

I am intrigued.

Q: stop it. it’s just cause my mind doesn’t work for the other 23.7 hrs of the day

4:20 PM some type of writing. it would be funny. even if we were the only ones who read it. i think you are a better writer than I am anyway.

4:22 PM P: no way!

i would love to!

we could do a collaborative blog to start with.

free.

4:23 PM see how it goes… perhaps develop a newsletter… change the world… run for president and vice president…

Q: but then you’d have to stop being funny

4:25 PM P: are you kidding? George Dubbya makes me laugh every time I see him!

And then I sob uncontrollably.

Q: good point

P: and throw up.

and shit my pants.

all at once.

Q: twice

4:26 PM PP: yup.

maybe we should meet for a drink next week to discuss this.

(do you love how I find any excuse to meet and drink?)



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